Murphy The Riddle Master

clancy olafferty

Murphy The Riddle Master

by Clancy O’Lafferty

randy the riddler

Randolph Riddlington:

“So Murphy you claim that you’re the best?

Well, here is one that you’ll never guess!

Mix PMS with GPS

And tell me now just what you’ll get?

Murphy:

“You know full well that I’m the best

But once more I’ll be glad to remind you

Mix PMS and GPS?

You’ll get a bitch that is bound to find you!”

 

Disclaimer: AHHHH! Don’t take me serious although some men may insist upon doing so!

leprechaun laughing.jpg2

copyright Maurie Nord 2014

 

 

 

 

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Riddle Of the States

 

clancy olafferty

Riddle Of the States

by Clancy O’Lafferty

 

randy the riddler

Randolph Riddlington:

“So Murphy at riddles you think you are great?

I’ll give you a clue and you name the state!”

“Cleanest!”

“Well that would be Washington”

“Purest!”

“Gotta be Virgin-ya”

“Happiest!”

“Maryland, of course”

“Dictatorial!”

Ida go hoe them spuds!”

“State with so little tooth decay!”

“Floride ah….yer tryin’ to say?”

“High in the middle and round on the ends!”

“Ohio ‘less I’m missin’ me guess”

“The center is lead!”

“Pennsylvania”

“Kids love crayons!”

“Colorado you moron”

“Unmarried Italian girl!”

“Miss Issippi’s her name”

“New cow state!”

“New Jersey’s the same”

“Suffers the most!”

“Oh poor Missouri!”

“Anna never wins!”

“Losey Anna you twit”

“Church music state!”

“Oregon”

“Most important state!”

“Well, Maine is the one”

“Dodge truck state!”

“Dakota North or South?”

“Now there’s one final state I’ll ask ya about!”

“The state is Alaska now shut your mouth!”

randy the riddlerleprechaun laughing.jpg2

 

copyright Maurie Nord 2014

Murphy The Riddle Master 7

clancy olafferty

Cllancy O”Lafferty

randy the riddler

Randy Riddlington: “Alright you little green smarty pants try this one:

A poor man is sitting in a pub. He sees that the man next to him is extremely rich.

Poor man: I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.

The rich man:   HA HA HA HA! Yeah right!

Poor man: I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a popular song that includes a lady’s name of your choosing.

The rich man laughs again.

Rich man: OK, how about my daughter’s name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?

The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing?

 

Murphy:

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Joanna Armstrong-Miller happy birthday to you!”

leprechaun laughing

Murphy The Riddle Master 6

clancy olafferty

randy the riddler

Randy Riddlington:  Murphy you twit, you just been lucky so far!”

A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

Murphy: “Well, duh! After 3 years of not eatin’ them lions would be little weak and skinny wouldn’t they? THEY’D BE DEAD YOU DINGLE BERRY!

leprechaun laughing

 “SEE ALL THE OTHER RIDDLE MASTERS…YOU’LL HOWL!”

Murphy The Riddle Master 4

clancy olafferty

Murphy The Riddle Master 4

by Clancy O’Lafferty

randy the riddler

Randolph Riddleton:

How do you catch a bird, Great Murphy, well how do you catch a bird?

Murphy:

Well it’s easy to catch a bird you Nerd

If you do as I say you won’t fail

Just sneak up behind him and ever so quietly

Sprinkle some salt on his tail!

 

leprechaun laughing

 

Copyright Maurie Nord 2014

 

Murphy The Riddle Master 3

Murphy The Riddle Master 3

by Clancy O’Lafferty

clancy olafferty

 

randy the riddler

Randolph Riddleton

“Two fathers and two sons went huntin’ together

And in total of ducks they got three

How many ducks would each duck hunter get?

If a “Master” you claim to be?”

Murphy:

“A son and his father and plus his grandfather

The total of hunters is three

Who are you kiddin’ Mr Randy O’Riddle?

A duck apiece they will receive!

 

Copyright Maurie Nord 2014

duck dynasty