Gregor wanted a Funny Guitar


by Clancy O’Lafferty

leprechaun laughing.jpg2

Gregor went down to Qatar

To buy him a funny guitar

An Arabian lady was playin’ so grand

One night at a Frenchman’s bar

The girl had a scarf on her head

And another was danciin’ by heck

Gregor said, “by gum I’m buyin’ me one

And a dancer as well if I can!”‘

When he spied a good shop in Doha

He muttered, “by gory aha!

Now that one there is the same or I’m lame

as the dame in the Frenchman’s bar!

“Now how many Royals is that?”

And he smiled like a Chesire cat

He looked round the room as he whistled a tune

But the price made his whistle fall flat

Gregor said, “I”ll try to be nice

And I’ll pay but a third of your price”

If you throw in a dancer, a belly dance prancer

You know the kind that I like.

Tis here in the land of Qatar,

You invented them funny guitars

And the dancers as well, them she devils from hell

That I love in the Frenchman’s bar

Their navels that rotate so slowly

And hips with a mind of their own see?

Well, it all started here and they sell lots of beer

And I’ll open a pub up in Derry”

Well, the owner he showed him the door

With a boot to his butt and he swore

“Allah give you some lashes instead of silk sashes

And all of these sins you adore!”

“You know that these all started here?

Gregor pointed his finger and jeered

The navels, the teats and the swivelling hips

And the oldest concoctions for beer!

I know that you secretly love em

And you think that yer somehow above em

Tis money yer after you git fiddle crafter

Now take yer fine profits and shove em!”


Standing Somewhere in the Shadows

Originally published on May 16, 2002, a prophetic poem by Maurie Nord


I saw by night, and behold a man riding upon a red horse, and he stood among the myrtle trees that were in the bottom; and behind him were there red horses, speckled and white.

Zechariah 1:8

I sense that the Spirit of the Lord is saying this:

Darkness is descending,

and in the shadows, I Am waiting for you to see Me.

I Am not pleased to see you wounded and in despair,

you look this way and that way for compassion,

is there any friend to comfort you?

I Am waiting for your eyes to adjust

to the darkness,

then you will see Me.

I will be at first a shadow,

then I will grow brighter as you behold Me.

In your despair, you will ask,

“How can these things come upon me?

Am I not special?

Have I not been chosen of You to be a light for liberty?

and a testimony for truth?”

Yes, and all the brighter you will, in darkness, shine!

I have been waiting for you, here,

in the valley of despair,

where the last straws of self reliance

are tightly clutched,

then at last, are reluctantly surrendered,

and are Mine.

You will peer into the darkness,

and in the shadows,

among the myrtles which camoflaged Me

by the light of  your glory days,

in your darkness,

you will find Me.

I Am not pleased

that it was here, and only here

you needed to come

to find Me.

I Am not pleased

that those who hate you

are at peace,

at rest and satisfied

with your despair.

You have faced enemies with courage,

and mighty is the armour

upon which you have relied.

Here in the valley,

I Am your only Armour,

here in the shadows, I stand ready,

and with Me stands My Bride.

We are not pleased at your pain,

we are not pleased

that you are brought down.

Yet it is for your gain,

that pain is allowed.

Your ears were deafened, amid the din of

the battles of distraction.

The cries of My watchmen:

“Watch your Unarmed Back!”

When at last you felt the stings,

of the first two sharp arrows,

as a giant aroused too late,

you turned around

and screamed,


Since then have followed

grievous arrows,

and even now in this low place,

in this valley you ask,

“How can this be,


“How can I be brought low?”


“Can it be that such things can happen,

to me, to even me?”

From the shadows of the myrtles I answer,

“Yes, these things can be,

and again,

I Am not pleased.”

I stand ready,

upon my warrior horse of red,

to stand up for you,


I Am not pleased

that your blood is shed.

You were merciful to Israel,

and you took her side.

Under the shadow of the Eagle’s wings,

for awhile she did abide,

until the enemies behind you,

the enemies among you,

the enemies within you cried,


And you have paid the price.

And now, behold Me, in the darkness,

I shine more brightly than the day.

Do even now,

as upon your coinage,

you long have boldly proclaimed:

Put your trust in Me,

let Me lead the way.

I Am the True Liberty,

I Am the True Safety,

I Am the True Wealth,

I Am the True Eagle,

I Am exalted above the Stars,

for the Stripes upon my back.

With pierced hands I beckon you,

Climb upon my back and soar!

Soar with me on the winds

of this great adversity!

You who have walked the moon,

will never see a grander sight,

than to behold the Lord,

in the Beauty of Holiness,

and on the wings of true faith,

to view the nations from His heights!

Oh look!

Your  Weeping Northern Brother

stretches open arms,

of love:

“Let’s fly together,

Wounded Brother,

let’s climb upon the Eagle’s back,

let us soar!

Let us be one people,

in His Love, let there be no border.

Let’s be united in this:

that we put our trust in the Lord!”

“We’ve been tasting of the Water,

from the Rock our leaders struck.

It is sweeter than the Maples.

We are with you in the myrtles,

in the shadows.

We are standing with you

in the shadows.”